Black Balloon Unchanged
by BalletBaby5
Summary: A relationship left unfinished, a love never clarified. Some things change, others never do. He's back to write the final chapters and answer the age old question 'What If'. Mainly RJ and some LL.
1. Coming Home

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The 'Black Balloon' part of the title is in reference to the song 'Black Balloon' by the Goo Goo Dolls which I recommend you all listen to while reading this chapter, since it is what I was listening to when I wrote it. Just a thought.

'Welcome To Stars Hollow'.

That was what the sign read, that was what it had always read. Every time she had returned form Yale for the last four years it had been the same, unchanged. This year however was different. Her final year at Yale, this was the last time she would return in a September from University to see that sign unchanged. Some things had to change.

She passed Dean's house and she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. Giving him her virginity was something she still regretted. She thought she's loved him, but it became clear later that he didn't feel the same way, making her doubt her own feelings. Their relationship had been short lived. Soon after, he's moved away from Stars Hollow and Rory hadn't heard from him since. The only closure Rory had was never wondering 'what if'. Everything with Dean had been. Remembering this lifted her spirits a bit as she pulled into her driveway.

"Mom! Mom?" Rory called, letting herself in. The light on the message machine blinked frantically.

_Beeeeep._ "Hey Ror, it's mommy. I'm at Luke's, something came up, I'll be home later 'k. Pizza's in the fridge, love ya, bye." _Beeeeep._

Rory smiled to herself as she heard the message. She couldn't have been more thrilled that her mom and Luke had finally realized what everyone else had known all along. Part of the reason she had come home for the weekend was because of them. The week before she'd been woken up at three in the morning by the ring of her cell phone. Her mother's voice had answered her when she picked up.

"I have a big shiny ROCK on my hand right now!" her mother giggled into the phone.

"Mom what are you talking about?" Rory mumbled.

" I'M ENGAGED!!"

And that was how it had been. She could only assume that was the reason Lorelai was at Luke's: wedding plans. She was glad it was Luke though. The others had never felt quite right when her mother told her, but this one fit. Rory could feel it. Picking up her bag, she dragged it to her room. She switched on the light, and that was when she saw him.

"Hi Rory."

"…Jess."

"What are you doing here?" it was a stupid question, she knew, but she had to hear it from him.

"Came to see you."

God, he looked exactly the same, she thought. He stood in front of her window in his jeans and red t-shirt. Same tousled dark hair, same brilliant eyes and smile. But that wasn't all that was the same.

"It's been three years."

"I know."

"That's it?" she couldn't believe he's come back after three years to tell her that. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I should have never asked you to come with me. It was selfish and I was messed up. I didn't know what I was doing. I needed some stability, I though you were the answer."

He's moved closer to her, but after that last statement, she moved back away from him.

"So that's what I was to you? Stability?!"

His eyes went wide and he took back the distance she'd just made.

"No! God no Rory! You know how I felt about you! I told you I loved you the night that I…" he couldn't finish it, so she did.

"That night that you left. If you loved me so much, why did you leave me on that sidewalk that night and then not speak to me for three months, only to show up at my dorm and ask me to run away with you!" Now she was mad.

"No, you know what! I don't even care! Why are you here?! Do you know how long it took me to try and forget you and move on?! I can't do this, not again!!"

"Rory wait!!" he was frantically calling after her as she flew out the front door. She didn't know where she was going, but she needed out, away from him. He called after her, but she never looked back.

Luke was sitting with Lorelai on the steps of the porch when Rory arrived home.

"He called us," the concern was written all over her mother's face, but Rory would have none of it.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"He didn't want us to. He said he needed to do this alone."

"How long?"

"Ro-" she cut her mother off instantly.

"How long!"

"About three weeks." Rory felt deceived. Luke suddenly piped up.

"We tried to convince him to call you, but he said he wanted to do it in person."

"Well what about what I wanted!"

"He's really sorry, he didn't think you'd get this upset." Rory felt her stomach churning; she couldn't believe this.

"He didn't think I'd be upset?" her voice was quivering.

"He disappears for three years and suddenly shows up in my bedroom. How could I not be!!!" she could feel the hot tears streaming down her face.

Lorelai got up and pulled Rory into her arms.

"I know sweetie, I know. But he just didn't know how else to do it." She stepped back a bit and held Rory's face in her hands, looking her straight in the eye.

"He's changed Ror. Just hear him out ok…please." She kissed Rory's forehead and let her go.

"We're gonna go for a walk okay…just try and listen to him Rory." And with that, she and Luke disappeared around the corner. Her mother's new defence of Jess did little to comfort her.

She stared at the house, it now seeming like her worst enemy. Slowly, she went and let herself inside. The door slammed shut behind her, announcing her arrival. She made the long journey down the hall to stand in the doorway of the kitchen. He sat at the table and stood up when she appeared in the room. His eyes were all red and puffy, he'd clearly also been crying. He jammed his hands into his pockets and drew a slow, shaky breath. Finally, he looked her in the eyes. She could see the fear and pleading reflected in them. He carried more with him than she could ever possibly begin to understand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She looked at him for a long moment, biting her lip.

"I know."

They made slow steps towards each other. It was as if everything she'd built up since he left suddenly came crashing down as she let out a stifled sob. He pulled her to him; his arms went around her, holding on for dear life. He was sobbing too, she could hear him; she could feel his body shaking against her.

Rory knew everything wasn't going to be fixed right away, but it was a start. They were going to be different; things were going to change.

Author's Note:

Well, this is my first Gilmore Girls Fanfic. My favourite season of Gilmore Girls was the one when Rory and Jess were together, hence why I want to write about them together. Anyhow, I have lots of ideas for this story. Please review and give feedback, good or bad, so I know whether to continue or not! Thanks! I will continue if I get at least eight reviews telling me to do so, so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!


	2. A Vision of Poe

Disclaimer: Yeah, I really wish I owned Jess, but I unfortunately don't. I don't own anything else either except the idea for this story.

"Silence is a good sign right? "Lorelai gave a nervous glance towards the house.

"I mean, maybe Rory has killed Jess and is at this moment, burying him under the floorboards. Very Edgar Allen Poe of her, but Rory is the literary type, so that would be an excellent serial killer signature for her. Maybe a bit predictable, but brilliant none the less."

"Lorelai, I'm sure they're just talking. Not everyone needs to speak so that their voice is amplified loud enough for all of Stars Hollow to hear. Although, I know some people that do," She gave him a guilty grin.

"You sure didn't mind my loud voice the other day when we were-"

"Alright, alright!" His wide eyes were met with a boisterous laugh. Leaning over, he captured her lips with his, giving her a slow, sweet kiss.

"I never said that I didn't enjoy it," he whispered when they finally pulled apart.

"Thought so."

"So, are you going to tell me where you've been for the last three years?"

"All over really. That night that I left you on the sidewalk, I drove back to California and enrolled at some high school down the street. I did my semester, put my time in and got my high school diploma."

She was proud of him. Proud that he'd gone back and finished like she knew he could, like she'd always told him.

"Wait, what about that night that you came and asked me to run away with you?"

Jess leaned forward, resting his folded hands on the table. He stared at them as he began to speak, as if he was taking himself back in time.

"I'd had a big fight with my dad that night, it'd been building for a while. He'd been bugging me to call my mom, and get a job, and a pile of other things. I'd been having a bad few weeks at school and stuff...and I just lost it on him one night."

"What happened?" her voice was almost a whisper. Jess sat back and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"I...I came home one night and he told me that the school had called, said I'd been skipping again. We started arguing, him asking me why I wasn't going anymore...he asked me if I talked to my mother lately and I asked why they hell I'd do that. Then, he said that Luke had called, and asked why I hadn't called him either...he just kept asking me why I'd stopped talking to people, and if this had something to do with why I wasn't going to school again...I told him that it was my life and he could fuck off, that I wasn't going to school anymore...things got pretty heated after that, a lot of yelling and screaming...but it didn't get bad until he said that he was my father and I would do what he told me too and then...I told him that I didn't have a father and...if I did, it sure as hell wouldn't be him and...I told him that I hated him...that I always would...and then he...he hit me," he looked away, and Rory knew that he was crying. Finally, he got up abruptly from the table.

"You know, it's not like no one's ever hit me before! It's just...it' been a while, you know. And it was like...in that instant, he brought back every moment of my past that I'd been trying so hard to forget! So I ran...I could hear him calling after me, but I just got in my car and drove. I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew I had to see you. I hadn't been planning to ask you to come with me really, I just wanted to talk to you. But then...I saw Dean and..." he slammed his fist against the wall.

"I don't know...something in me snapped! I wanted to be with you so badly Rory, and I'd had a plan, and Dean...that just screwed it all up...so I asked you to run away with me," he looked back at her, the understanding between them that they both knew what the answer had been.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I just...I just knew I couldn't go back there. I couldn't do it Rory. The last time that had happened...my mother's boyfriend broke my nose and gave me a black eye...I was fourteen...and you know what she said? She said that it must have been my fault...that I must have done _something..._and when I had to_ walk _to the hospital, damn it!!I vowed that I would never let anyone hit me like that again!! And no one did...until him..." Jess pounded the wall again with his fist, letting out a shout of rage. Rage towards his mother, his father, his past.

Getting up from the table, Rory came and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her head on his back. She could smell Jess; his cologne, mixed with the faint smell of cigarette smoke; she'd missed it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be sorry for him," he answered her just as softly. Turning around to face her, he looked straight in her eyes. God how she'd missed those eyes.

"You have to understand that I never meant to hurt you. I've never, _ever_ cared about anyone more than you."

"Then why did you leave me that night?" tears glistened in her eyes as she said, remembering that winter night that he'd professed his love for her before disappearing again.

"...I had to go and make something of myself Rory! There you were, going to Yale, making big plans, and what was I? Nothing!"

"That's not true Jess!!"

"Yes! It is! I wasn't anything and I knew it!"

"You were something to me!!" she shouted and turned away from him, moving to the table again, gripping the back of a chair for support. His voice came as a whisper in her ear. It was soft and warm, but firm, just like Jess.

"But it wasn't enough for me Rory, and it wouldn't have been for you for too long either. I knew that I couldn't see you or speak to you again until I had figured myself out, and made myself into something you could be proud of. Not some high school drop-out who worked in a diner and couldn't even take you to the prom."

"You were so much more than that Jess."

"I wasn't but...I knew I could be, and I knew that was how I could be with you. You were leaving me behind Rory, whether you knew it or not. So I went to try and get you back... you were the only thing that ever mattered to me, and I'm sorry for everything I've done."

The pieces were slowly coming together, and she pulled him into her arms. He held her tightly, as if trying to make up for lost time.

"This is gonna take time you know," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I know." There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as they held each other.

"I missed you Dodger." Rory pulled back enough to see a smirk crossing his face.

"You know," he said thoughtfully.

"No one's called me that in four years."

The opening of the door was followed by Lorelai calling into the kitchen.

"Rory?...Jess?...are you dead?...Did Rory chop you up and put you under the floor boards?"

"Lorelai!" Luke's gruff voice answered her.

"Ew Mom! That's disgusting!" Rory laughed as she and Jess untangled themselves from eachother.

Lorelai suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

"Jess! You're not dead!"

"Nope...should I be?"

"Forget it," Luke advised.

"It's not worth it."

"So..." Lorelai looked back and forth between them.

"Is everything okay now?" As much as she hated to admit, Jess had grown on her. His sarcasm and rebellious nature had reminded her a lot of herself at his age. When he's shown up on her door step a few weeks ago, she'd been thrown. Well, that and she'd wanted to throw him for what'd he'd done. But things had changed. She saw Rory glance behind at Jess and smile.

"No...but it will be."

"Hey Luke, you know what I think this calls for? Coffee!!" Luke glared at his future wife before sighing heavily.

"All right, for tonight ONLY, I will assist you in rotting your insides," he rolled his eyes, causing Rory to laugh.

As the crossed the street to the dinner, Rory let go of Jess' hand and raced her mother there. Jess stopped and watched as they clumsily scrambled to the counter, Luke setting coffee cups in front of them. Lorelai and Rory laughed, and even Luke smiled. He watched as Luke and Lorelai kissed each other over the counter.

"Jess!"

His thoughts were interrupted by Rory calling him from the door.

"Everything okay?"

"...yeah," He nodded finally. He took one last look around and then sighed to himself.

"It's good to be home.

Author's Note: 

Ok, so that took me forever to write! So much drama! Don't worry, it'll be toned down a bit for the next few chapters. So, I know I said that I was going to wait for 8 more reviews, but I love writing this story so much that I decided just to screw that and write another chapter. To the one person that did review, I can't exactly remember your name because I'm typing this on my laptop right now, Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much! It is wonderful to get feedback from people! Anyhow, please please please please, I beg of you, write me a review!!! I live for feedback and I love this story, I hope you all do too! Thanks a million!


	3. Gilmore Guests

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, I own nothing.

"Name: J-e-s-s M-a-r-i-a-n-o" Jess mumbled to himself as he scrawled his name across the application. It was a Friday evening in the first week of October. From the diner window, he could see that the trees of Stars Hallow were starting their ritual of changing their leaves. Working in the diner seemed like the only thing for him at the moment as he got settled. Sure, it wasn't glamorous or anything, but it was the only way he knew how to pay Luke back for letting him stay.

"Jess!" Lorelai came sweeping into the diner looking disgruntled.

"Well, hello sunshine," he smirked. Lorelai glared back at him.

"Jess, I'm really in the mood to hurt someone right now, and that someone just might be you. Where's Luke?" Without another word, Jess walked over to the doorway to the back.

"LUKE!!!" he bellowed.

"What?! What's wrong?!" Luke came rushing up to Jess in a panic.

"Your wife is here and she threatened to hurt me. What are you going to do about that?" Luke's face fell as Jess reported the information.

"Thank her obviously," he made his way over to Lorelai.

"What's wrong? You look upset."

"Upset? I'm not upset, what makes you think I'm upset?"

"Well, for one thing, you just threatened to kill my nephew and friend of your daughter. That and you have that look on you face like you're about to explode and go on a rampage, wiping out Stars Hollow."

Lorelai stared at him in astonishment.

"Wow...that is highly accurate of you. But not Stars Hollow really, just my mother."

"Why?" Luke leaned across the counter.

"What did she do now?"

"This." Lorelai pulled a folded package of paper out of her purse. With a flick of her wrist, the paper unfolded itself to it's full length, revealing a list that reached the floor.

"What is that, you may be asking yourself. Well, it's a list of guests that my mother has demanded we invite to the wedding."

Grabbing the list, Luke scanned it quickly, his eyes getting wider by the second. Jess stared over his shoulder, reading it.

"But we can't possibly invite..." Luke paused, counting.

" 400 people," Jess pointed out.

"How'd you know that?" Luke asked. Jess shrugged, sticking his pencil behind his ear and beginning the task of wiping down the counter.

"The point is," Lorelai continued.

"That the more time goes by, the bigger this wedding is getting! My mother is completely taking over!!"

"Did you tell her that we just wanted something small, here in Stars Hollow?" Luke asked.

"Of course I did! But this is Emily Gilmore we're talking about here!" The sound of the phone interrupted Lorelai's rant and Jess sauntered over to answer it as she and Luke continued.

"Luke's."

"Luke?"

"Rory? Is that you?"

"Jess! Thank god!" Rory's panicked voice met him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Is my mom there?"

"Yeah, hold on a sec." Jess snapped his fingers at Lorelai.

"It's Rory."

Lorelai slid off her diner stool and grabbed the phone from Jess.

"Ror?"

"Mom! How could you just abandon me here at Grandma's! She's trying to make me watch her ballroom dancing tapes again!" Lorelai smacked her forehead.

"I'm sorry! I totally didn't remember that we drove together! I'm used to you coming by yourself from school all the time. I just got so mad at her! I had to leave or there would have been a hard core S.E. Hinton rumble right then and there, and believe me I would have pulled a Tim Shepard and snapped her!"

"Right. Well, I'm still stuck here! She thinks I'm in the bathroom right now! Uh oh," Lorelai could hear her mother's voice in the background, calling Rory's name.

"I gotta go. Save me, please!" and the phone line went dead.

Sighing, Lorelai hung up the phone.

"Everything ok?" Luke asked.

"I totally forgot Rory at my mother's and now she's stuck watching reruns of 80's ballroom dancing. I'll go pick her up and then we can talk about this," she pointed at the list on the counter like it carried a contagious disease.

"I'll go."

"What?" Lorelai stared at Jess like he had just said he'd go amputate his hands.

"Seriously, I'll go pick up Rory. She's at Richard and Emily's right?"

"Yeah but-"

"Ok, so I'll go," Jess grabbed his keys off the back counter.

"You remember how to get there?"

"I think so," he nodded, shrugging on his jacket. Lorelai sat back down at the counter across from Luke.

"Thanks Jess."

He was almost out the door when he stopped, turning back to them.

"Oh, and no sex while I'm gone, I just cleaned the counters," they both stared back at him with shocked expression. He closed the door and smiled to himself.

**_DING DONG._**

****The shrill bell of the Gilmore house sounded as Jess waited for what felt like hours at the door. Finally, a maid answered the door.

"Hi, I'm here for Rory." The maid looked him up and down.

"And you are?"

"Jess Mariano, I'm a, uh, friend of Rory's. Her mom sent me to come pick her up."

The maid hesitated before letting him inside. Jess glanced around, wondering why two people required so much space.

"They're down the hall, the first room to your left," the girl disappeared quickly before Jess could utter another word. He slowly made his way down the hall, hearing the sound of the TV as he got closer. He ducked in the doorway to find Rory sitting on the couch as her Grandmother animatedly explained something to her. Her face lit up when she saw him and he smiled at this.

"Jess!" her Grandmother quickly turned her attention to where he stood. Her expression immediately turned sour as she remembered him. Rory stood up moving closer to him.

"Grandma, you remember Jess."

"Nice to see you again Mrs.Gilmore," Jess stuck out his hand. She looked at it in disgust but slowly placed her hand in his, pulling away quickly after shaking it. Jess restrained himself, knowing that if he was going to be in Rory's life again, he needed to learn to stand her grandparents. Getting them to like him was a whole other story.

"I assume Lorelai sent you. She couldn't very well come back here after the performance she put on this evening." Jess felt himself holding back his sarcasm like vomit.

"Well, Lorelai was actually very tired, so I offered to come and pick Rory up."

"Well, how kind of you James."

"Jess."

"My mistake."

If looks could kill, Jess would have been dead the moment he walked in the door.

"Well, thank you for a lovely evening Rory, even if it was interrupted slightly. I think I'll retire to bed now. Have a good night." And with that, Emily flounced out of the room.

"I'm sorry about grandma," Rory said in the car on the way back to Stars Hollow.

"It's ok, I'm used to it."

"I think she just remembers you from...the last time you visited," she looked away from him, pretending to be interested with the something outside the window.

"I know."

Silence followed Jess' answer until finally Rory's voice broke it.

"The look on Grandma's face when she saw you though was priceless."

Jess had to grin at that.

"I thought she was gonna collapse and die of shock."

"Hey," Rory smiled at him.

"Thanks for coming to get me."

"You're welcome."

"So...how about _you_ take _me_ for ice cream."

"What are you, five?"

Rory laughed.

"If it means that you will but me two scoops, then yes."

"Okay, but if we get back and the counters are dirty, you are cleaning them."

Author's Note:

Okay, so my life has been crazy hell the last few weeks, hence the no update. Thank you soooooooooooooooo much to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate all the feedback! I'm sorry for not allowing anonymous reviews before, I didn't realize I wasn't, but I am now, so you can all review away! Also, I apologize for the bad format, I write it all out properly but when I load it, the formatting goes all screwy. If anyone knows how I can fix this, please let me know since it has happened to me twice now. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was a bit of a filler and kind of sucked. Please let me know what you thought anyhow!


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